6.17.2009

Growing Pains

The older I get the more I realize it wasn't so bad living at home with mom and dad, working a little here and there not really having to,focusing on school, basically having all the time in the world to do whatever I wanted to do. Life was so easy, but I couldn't wait to grow up/have my own house/my rules/my own money and still do whatever I wanted to do. What was I thinking??? I had it made! I know everyone has heard the saying that "heinsight is 20/20," and that is so true. You really don't know what you had until you don't have it anymore.

NOW-don't be over thinking these thoughts. I love my family with all that I am and I wouldn't be the person I am today if it weren't for Chad & Olivia. It's just being an adult isn't always fun. And things don't always go as planned and LIFE. HAPPENS. And today was a BAD day. AND my job IS. NOT. MY. LIFE. It is not what I want to do or will do for the rest of my life. It's just a job! I just feel so unfulfilled with what I do four days a week and know in my heart it is not what I am supposed to be doing.

That is the biggest thing that I wish I could change. I wish I would have been more focused in college and a degree...that I actually use. I know, I know...I can go back and I am going back, but it would've been a whole lot easier the first time. Like when I didn't have to work/a husband to feed/a baby to take care of/a house to clean/bills to pay/problems to solve/and I could go on and on. I guess it will just make me more determined and serious this time around.


This is not the way I intended for this post to go. I mean...yes, I did have a bad day today at work, but that is just part of it and being an adult. That was the point I was trying to make. How it got to this, I don't know, but it doesn't matter! This is ME, and if you actually know me, then you already knew this. And this sounds really corny, but it felt good to let that out!

6 comments:

Charlene said...

Even though I ususally tell y'all about whats bothering me, it always makes me feel so much better to write a post about it. I guess it's because it helps relieve the burden. Usually once I have it in writing (or typed out), I can read it for myself and I can process it for myself what it means.

I totally feel you on the having it made before you had all the responsiblities of having a husband/house/child/bills, I have all those (minus the child) and I want to pull my hair out sometimes. I don't wish I could take it back or anything, but I REALLY wish that Dustin and I had lived alone before we moved in together. I'm very independent and I think would've really liked living by myself, I just wish Dustin would've lived by himself so that he'd be used to doing his own house work, etc. It's hard, it's really hard...but in the long run it's worth it!

Megan Smith said...

hmm...i feel your frusterations, and i can tell you that it is very hard.....but blogging is the best way to get them out!!! everybody has bad days, and they SUCK!! it will be much easier once chad starts working with his degree and you could possibly get a part time job here or something, and it will be easier for you..you have to just keep planning ahead and counting down the days!! lol thats what got me through. you wil be fine. :)

Amanda said...

I am actually working on an essay to submit in a contest about the time I realized I was an adult. I totally agree, being a grown-up can be so over-rated.

I did take school a lot more seriously when I got married. It was just different, more like I wanted to go instead of going because that's what I thought I was supposed to do.

I am sorry you had a bad day but thanks for sharing your thoughts! Good post! Love ya!

Kristy said...

Amen sister! I feel your pain. Brandon holds the "you're off all summer and you want me to help you when I come home" over my head. He said that last night. Burnt me up! I realize he works outside and I appreciate all that he does. He thinks just because I've been at home all day means that he shouldn't have to get out of the recliner once he's home. It's not like I'm asking him to wash clothes or clean house, just simple stuff...put on Karlea's pjs, etc. Sorry to ramble. I know what you mean though. Good luck!

Crystal Odom said...

I can definately realate to those kind of days...Sorry you had such a bad day!

Brianna said...

This is totally off subject of bills and responsibility but I realized I was an adult the other day when I was watching The Today Show and the Jonas Brothers were performing and I couldnt stand them. They were absolutely awful to me and I thought, "oh I am 25"
Just thought I would share